What Is Considered Rude in China That Foreigners Often Do

When you first arrive in China, it’s easy to accidentally offend someone — not because you’re trying to be rude, but because the social norms are just… different. Things that are perfectly acceptable or even polite in your home country might raise eyebrows, cause awkward silences, or worse — quietly close doors you didn’t even know existed 😬.

But don’t worry. It’s not about being perfect — it’s about being aware. Here’s a deep dive into the behaviors that many foreigners unintentionally do in China that come off as rude, and how to adjust without losing your identity.

1. Not Acknowledging Hierarchy

China has a deeply rooted respect for hierarchy — age, position, and titles matter. Calling your boss by their first name, not offering your seat to an older person on the subway, or handing something directly to a superior without a slight bow of the head can seem disrespectful.

Fix it: Use titles like “laoshi” (teacher), “jingli” (manager), or simply “ni hao” without names in formal settings. Observe how locals interact — subtle things like posture and word choice speak volumes.

2. Giving or Receiving with One Hand

In many Western cultures, handing something to someone with one hand is totally fine. In China, especially when offering something important like a business card, money, or a gift, using both hands shows respect.

Fix it: Always use both hands — it’s a small gesture that leaves a big impression.

3. Refusing Hospitality Too Quickly

When someone offers you tea, food, or help, the polite Chinese thing is to refuse once or twice, then accept. Immediately saying “yes” might be interpreted as greedy. On the flip side, saying “no” firmly can feel like rejection.

Fix it: Do the dance — say “no, no, it’s okay” once, then smile and accept. They’ll appreciate your understanding of the ritual.

4. Being Too Direct

“I don’t like this,” “This doesn’t make sense,” or “Why would you do that?” — all normal phrases in the West. But in China, where saving face (面子, miànzi) is vital, directness can come off as confrontational or even humiliating.

Fix it: Soften your feedback. Use indirect language like “Maybe another way could be…” or “I’m not sure I understand — can you explain?”

5. Touching or Hugging Too Soon

Westerners often greet with hugs, cheek kisses, or back slaps. In China, especially outside of big cities, that kind of physical contact feels very personal — and uncomfortable.

Fix it: Stick to a nod, a small bow, or a handshake until you really know the person. You’ll notice locals rarely initiate physical contact beyond that.

6. Ignoring the Group

Chinese culture is very group-oriented. Making decisions without consulting others, talking only to one person in a group, or dominating a conversation can feel self-centered.

Fix it: Include everyone, speak in “we” instead of “I,” and be aware of how your actions affect the group dynamic.

7. Showing Frustration in Public

Yelling, eye-rolling, or showing visible irritation — especially in a restaurant or government office — can be seen as childish or losing control.

Fix it: Stay calm, even when things are slow or confusing. Locals admire patience, and you’ll get further by staying composed.

8. Not Bringing a Gift

If you’re invited to someone’s home or returning from a trip, showing up empty-handed can feel inconsiderate. A small gift is expected, even something simple like fruit or local snacks.

Fix it: Always have a little something prepared. Even just asking, “Should I bring anything?” is appreciated.

9. Public Displays of Affection

Holding hands is fine, but kissing, hugging, or being overly affectionate in public — especially around elders — may draw uncomfortable stares or whispers.

Fix it: Be low-key. Save the PDA for private spaces.

10. Not Trying the Food

If someone offers you something they cooked or ordered specially, rejecting it outright might seem like an insult — even if you just don’t like fish eyeballs 🐟👀.

Fix it: Try a small bite, or at least say, “It looks great, I’m just full.” Showing respect for the effort is more important than loving the dish.

Bonus: Misjudging What’s Private

You might be shocked by personal questions like “How much do you make?”, “Why are you not married?”, or “Do you own an apartment?” — but these aren’t rude in China. They’re signs of curiosity or care.

Fix it: You don’t have to answer everything directly. Give light-hearted or vague responses if you’re uncomfortable, but don’t react like you’ve been attacked.

Final Thoughts

No one expects you to be perfect. Chinese people are generally very forgiving and excited to meet foreigners who are trying. But knowing these social landmines can make your experience smoother, deeper, and far less awkward.

And hey — you’ll probably still mess up once or twice. Just smile, apologize if needed, and learn. That’s how everyone does it. Even locals.