How to Make Friends in China as a Foreigner (Without Being Creepy or Clueless)

Let’s be real—making friends as an adult is hard anywhere. But in China, it can feel especially tricky if you’re a foreigner navigating a new culture, language, and set of unspoken social rules 🫣.

Whether you’re in China for work, study, or travel, having local friends can make your experience 10x richer. From helping you decode food menus to introducing you to hidden gems only locals know, friendships are the secret weapon to thriving in China.

But how do you actually meet people—and connect in a way that doesn’t come off as awkward, desperate, or worse, creepy? Let’s break it down.

1. First, Understand the Cultural Context

In many Western countries, striking up a conversation with a stranger at a bar or complimenting someone’s outfit might lead to friendship. In China, people are often more reserved with strangers.

This doesn’t mean Chinese people are unfriendly—it just means social trust is built more slowly and indirectly.

Important: People may seem “cold” at first, but once you’re in their circle, they’re incredibly warm, loyal, and generous.

2. Where to Meet People (Beyond the Office)

If you’re working in China, your colleagues might be your first social circle. But don’t rely only on work—here are other great ways to meet people:

• Language exchange meetups (search on Meetup, HelloTalk, or local WeChat groups)
• Sports or fitness classes (boxing, badminton, yoga—anything group-based)
• Volunteering events (great for meeting like-minded locals and expats)
• Board game cafés (桌游吧—surprisingly social!)
• Cooking classes, art workshops, or dance studios

Tip: Use platforms like Douban, WeChat Events, or 小红书 (RED) to find local happenings.

3. Online Options: The Good, the Bad, the Awkward

Apps are a double-edged sword. You can meet people—but intentions can get blurry fast.

• WeChat – Once you meet someone offline, add them here. It’s where all real communication happens.
• Tantan / Momo – Mostly used for dating, but sometimes friendships happen. Be clear about your intent.
• Hellotalk / Tandem – Great for language and culture exchange. Keep it respectful and consistent.
• Facebook expat groups – Still active in some cities via VPN (e.g., “Shanghai Expats”)

Red flag: Don’t slide into DMs with “Hi, I’m a foreigner—can we be friends?” That sounds… sus 😬

4. How to Start a Conversation Without Being Weird

Chinese social etiquette leans polite, low-pressure, and indirect. Here’s how to strike up conversation without being awkward:

• Ask about food – “What’s that dish you ordered? It looks amazing.”
• Comment on surroundings – “This café has a really cool vibe, huh?”
• Offer help or ask for it – “Hey, do you know how this subway card works?”

Then, if the conversation flows naturally, ask if they’d like to grab coffee or attend an event sometime. Keep it light. If they seem hesitant, back off gracefully.

5. Be Consistent (Friendships Need Maintenance!)

In China, people often form deeper bonds through repeated, shared experiences rather than “deep talks.” That means:

• Showing up to group activities regularly
• Following up with a friendly message (not ghosting)
• Being the one to suggest hangouts

Consistency = comfort. You don’t have to be super charismatic. Just show up, be kind, and stay present.

6. Avoid These Common Mistakes

• Coming on too strong (e.g., oversharing personal stuff early on)
• Only hanging with expats and ignoring local connections
• Treating people like “China guides” instead of equals
• Not respecting “face” culture (don’t tease people in public or cause embarrassment)

Also, just because someone chats with you doesn’t mean they want to be besties. Respect soft rejections.

7. Don’t Underestimate the “Friend of a Friend” Effect

In Chinese social culture, many friendships happen through introductions. If you meet one local friend, they may slowly bring you into their broader circle.

Pro tip: Accept invitations—even if it’s “just dinner with my cousins.” It might lead to lasting friendships.

Final Thoughts

Making friends in China isn’t impossible—it just plays by different rules. Stay open, be respectful, and focus on building trust over time.

Remember: people don’t become friends overnight. And in China, the slow-cooked friendships are often the most rewarding ❤️.