Chinese Restaurant Etiquette: What Foreigners Often Get Wrong at the Table

So you’ve been invited to dinner in China. You’re excited, maybe a little nervous, and you think, “Hey, I’ve eaten in restaurants all over the world. How different could this be?”

The answer: very different 😅.

Chinese restaurant etiquette has its own rhythms, unspoken rules, and rituals that can leave foreigners feeling awkward, confused, or unintentionally rude. Whether you’re at a fancy banquet or a local noodle shop, understanding a few basic expectations can make the whole experience smoother—and way more enjoyable.

1. Don’t Sit Down First (Unless Invited)

At a formal meal, seating arrangements matter. The most respected guest usually sits facing the door, while the host sits opposite. Unless someone tells you where to sit, don’t just grab a chair. Wait a moment and watch what others do.

In casual settings, this is more relaxed—but it’s still polite to wait for the host to signal where to sit.

2. Don’t Rush to Order

In many Western countries, it’s common to browse the menu and order for yourself. In China? The host usually takes charge of ordering, especially at group meals 🍽️.

You might get asked what you like (or dislike), but often one person handles the full order. Don’t be surprised if 12 dishes appear out of nowhere—this is normal.

3. Sharing Is Caring (Really)

Meals in China are communal. Dishes go in the center and everyone shares. You don’t get your own portion (unless it’s rice or soup).

• Use the serving spoons if provided
• If not, it’s common to use the “back” of your chopsticks to take food (though not everyone does this)
• Never dig around in the dish looking for the “best bite”—that’s considered rude

4. Rice Isn’t Always the Main Star

Many foreigners expect rice to come first or be served automatically. In Chinese dining, it often comes last—or not at all—especially at banquets. It’s more of a filler after you’ve had your share of dishes.

5. Toasting Rules (and Traps)

Alcohol plays a big role in many meals, especially business or celebratory ones. If someone toasts you with a glass of baijiu (白酒), it’s polite to accept—even if you just take a sip 🥴.

• Raise your glass slightly lower than the other person’s to show respect
• If you’re the youngest or lowest-ranked at the table, don’t initiate toasts too aggressively
• It’s okay to say “Wǒ bú hē jiǔ” (I don’t drink), but be ready for gentle peer pressure

6. Don’t Start Eating Immediately

Wait for the eldest or host to start eating before you dig in. It’s a small gesture, but it shows respect. Starting too early—even just picking at peanuts—can look impatient.

7. Don’t Finish Everything on the Plate

In some cultures, finishing your food is polite. In China, leaving a bit of food shows that the host provided enough. Cleaning your plate completely can make it seem like you’re still hungry 😬.

Of course, if you’re just at a casual lunch with friends, this isn’t as strict. But at formal banquets? Leave that last meatball.

8. Don’t Refuse More Food Too Directly

Chinese hospitality means your host might pile food onto your plate again and again. Saying “No thanks, I’m full” might not be enough. Instead, try saying:

• “Chī bǎo le, xièxie!” (I’m full, thank you!)
• Use gentle gestures like covering your bowl with your hand

Even then, you might still get one more dumpling. Just smile and accept your fate 😂.

9. Don’t Fight Over the Bill (Unless You Mean It)

In China, fighting to pay the bill is a ritual. You might see friends literally tugging the check from each other’s hands.

If someone invites you to dinner, they’ll likely insist on paying. It’s polite to offer, but don’t push too hard unless you really mean it. And if you do want to pay—grab the server quietly before the meal ends.

10. Bonus: Chopsticks Do’s and Don’ts

• ✅ Rest chopsticks on the holder or plate edge—not standing up in rice (that’s funeral imagery)
• ❌ Don’t point with chopsticks
• ❌ Don’t stab food with chopsticks like a fork
• ✅ Use both hands to pass dishes if needed—shows respect

Final Thoughts

Chinese dining is about connection, community, and care. It’s a beautiful tradition that might feel overwhelming at first, but once you get the rhythm, it’s incredibly warm and welcoming ❤️.

When in doubt, observe. Follow others. Smile. Say “hǎo chī!” (delicious!) and “xièxiè” (thank you) often. And maybe… pace yourself on the baijiu 🥂.